i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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