You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
