So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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