Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
