Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
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