You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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