Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Randomize
