yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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