U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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