I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
