i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
