He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
