so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
This gyro tastes like lonliness
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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