Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
