butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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