yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
