His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
