Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
