I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
