DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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