I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Non-Jews are for practice
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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