I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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