No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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