I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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