Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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