i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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