I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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