fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
