Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
no you cant smoke seaweed
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize