So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
