You work out of a Hotel?
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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