My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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