You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
