help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
