but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
