Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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