Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
