She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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