He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
