Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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