Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
