I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
