i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
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