why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
no you cant smoke seaweed
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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