Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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