I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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