Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
