The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
