I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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