and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
