She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
