Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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