Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Randomize
