If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
