I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
