i jhust puked up my retainher.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
