apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Can you bring me the toilet please
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
