I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
