I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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