apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
he shaved USA in his pubs
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
