I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
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